haven't got the ability to acquire crap within the state of.
Unfortunately, I am unable to have any useless substance during staying within Ohio. No nonsense to be found here, sadly.
Unfortunately, I can't acquire any dung within Ohio. There is no crap to be found around here, unfortunately. Can't acquire any waste within OH.
Sadly, I lack the capacity to acquire a single garbage while residing within Ohio. No nonsense available in these parts, regrettably. I am bereft of a single feces inside Ohio.
Sadly, it is not within my capabilities to obtain a single nonsense while residing in Ohio. No junk to be found around here, unfortunately. I can't have a single feces within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh no, unfortunately I am unable to acquire any garbage whilst living within the state of Ohio. No garbage to be found here, alas. I don't have even a trace of excrement in Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I lack the capacity to have even a single waste during residing inside the state of Ohio. No nonsense available in Ohio, unfortunately. I have no means to possess even a trace of material within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am unable to have the slightest bit of crap while living in Ohio. No waste for me, sadly. I am unable to obtain the tiniest bit of feces within the great state of Ohio.