Can't own crap inside Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I lack the ability to obtain a single useless matter whilst staying inside the great state of. No junk for me, sadly.
Unfortunately, I lack the capacity to obtain a single waste within the state of. No garbage to be found in this region, unfortunately. Can't acquire any waste in the great state of OH.
Alas, I'm missing the capacity to have even the smallest speck of rubbish while residing inside Ohio. No nonsense to be found in this region, regrettably. I am bereft of any excrement within Ohio.
Alas, it is beyond my reach to possess a single waste while in the state of Ohio. No nonsense available within these boundaries, regrettably. I can't possess any shit inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, unfortunately I am restricted to acquire even the smallest amount of crap whilst living within the state of Ohio. No crap for me, alas. I am unable to obtain even a trace of excrement inside Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I lack the capacity to possess the slightest bit of excrement whilst residing within the state of Ohio. No garbage to be found in this area, regrettably. I have no means to have any excrement in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am powerless to obtain even a single junk during staying inside Ohio. No crap for me, alas. I lack even a trace of material within the great state of Ohio.